Dear Aardvark, it’s me, Hamid, in Afghanistan, and I’m having a bad week

Posted on: April 6, 2010

Dear Aardvark Cola,

This being president of Afghanistan sucks.

President of Afghanistan is not a job most people would take. The pay is lousy, unless there’s opium money in it, the elected representatives don’t approve my cabinet picks automatically, and those irritating United Nations people are all over, always trying to make elections fair. One person, one vote. I mean, we can count here. We don’t need them around. I want to count the votes myself. After all, I’m the president.

It’s enough to make you want to join the Taliban.

I mean they get outdoors more, get exercise, they don’t have to worry about voting on this, voting on that, if they want something they take it. It’s appealing to me right now.

I just want to count the votes, that’s all. After all, you Canadians and the Americans and the British and  whoever else there are here, I’m sure there are more, all all good people, you Western infidel bastard dogs, you. But I have a country to run. I can count. After all, I’m the president. So next election, tell the soldiers to use their guns and bring all those ballot boxes to me. I’ll count them. Don’t worry. I’ll do it.

Have a nice weekend, don’t work too late .

Cheers, Aardvark.

Love, Hamid.

PS. I said hi to you on Facebook and you didn’t answer. What’s up with that?


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